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Reason
for leaving last job: maturity leave. |
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Failed
bar exam with relatively high grades. |
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It's
best for employers that I not work with people. |
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Let's
meet, so you can "ooh" and "aah"
over my experience. |
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You
will want me to be Head Honcho in no time. |
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I
am a perfectionist and rarely if if ever forget details. |
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I
was working for my mom until she decided to move. |
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Marital
status: single. Unmarried. Unengaged. Uninvolved. No
commitments. |
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I
have an excellent track record, although I am not a
horse. |
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I
am loyal to my employer at all costs. Please feel free
to respond to my résumé on my office voice
mail. |
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My
goal is to be a meterologist. Without any training in
meteorology, I suppose I should try stock brokerage. |
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I have become completely paranoid, trusting completely
no one and absolutely nothing. |
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I
procrastinate, especially when the task is unpleasant. |
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Personal
interests: donating blood. Fourteen gallons so far. |
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As
indicted, I have over five years of analyzing
investments. |
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Instrumental
in ruining entire operation for a Midwest chain store. |
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Note:
Please don't misconstrue my 14 jobs as "job-hopping."
I have never quit a job. |
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Marital
status: often. Children: various. |
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Reason
for leaving last job: They insisted that all employees
get to work by 8:45 a.m. every morning. I couldn't work
under those conditions |
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The
company made me a scapegoat, just like my three previous
employers. |
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Finished
eighth in my class of ten. |
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References:
none. I've left a path of destruction behind me. |
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Interview
Humor |
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